


DAVE: BE ON VACATION

by KaiserKris



Series: Homestuck One-Shots, Vol. I [1]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/F, F/M, Fluff, Other, Polyamory, Summer Vacation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-12
Updated: 2018-07-12
Packaged: 2019-06-09 10:50:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,197
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15265896
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KaiserKris/pseuds/KaiserKris
Summary: Your name is DAVE STRIDER and you are on vacation with your two girlfriends JADE HARLEY and ARADIA MEGIDO. And hopy damn, is it hot in Greece in the summer.But it's all 0k because your life is secretly awesome.THUS INAUGURATES THE HOMESTUCK ONE-SHOTS OF NON-SMUT (its open to requests btw)





	DAVE: BE ON VACATION

Whoever’s idea it was to go to fucking Greece in the actual summertime …

 

Well, Aradia was lucky that she was super hot and one of your two girlfriends, because if she weren’t, you’d have words for her. Because it is positively Hadean up in this joint. It’s as if someone were evolutionarily conditioned to a hotter planet with a far more intense sun and had considerably thicker skin that blocked out UV rays and thus didn’t require sunblock or something.

 

That was something you and Jade found out recently, that yes, god-tiers can sunburn, and since you’re both basically alabaster, you’re piling on SPF 9000 sunscreen a bottle at a time and praying to any god, goddess or spirit guardian that will listen that you won’t be a blistered, peeling wreck by the end of the day. So far, the sunscreen seems to be working but Jesus fuck, you’re still hot as shit and this is like, your eighth full bottle of water, and you're already feeling parched again.

 

The idea of absconding to the hotel is hella tempting, where there’s a soft bed and air conditioning and a TV that might as well be showing Interdimensional Cable for the sheer number of options it has. Last night, the three of you found this utterly weird Bulgarian soap opera and started inserting your own dialogue instead of whatever the characters were saying in Bulgarian.

 

Then of course, you had all kinds of sex, which was even better.

 

But back to the present, where everyone’s clothes are present and accounted for, the reason why you’re sticking this out is because your tour guide (also your troll girlfriend) is so ridiculously infectiously enthusiastic. You know that she was an archaeologist of sorts back on Alternia, where anyone poking about at the history of trollkind was liable to be culled, so it’s not surprising that she’s resumed her enthusiasm for old, dead stuff on a planet where people think such things are actually kind of cool.

 

“The Parthenon was actually preserved in excellent condition until it was accidentally blown up by Venetian artillery fire in 1687.” Aradia’s practically beaming as she speaks, intrepidly clambering up some steps, even though she’s fully capable of flying. “The occupying Ottomans used it to store gunpowder, because they thought the Venetians would never target something so historically valuable.” Aradia frowns slightly at that. “We’re probably pretty fortunate that it survives at all. A lot of the sculptures that survived are in the British Museum in London- the Greeks have wanted them back for a long time.”

 

“I’d probably want them back too!” Jade adds, availing herself of her ability to fly to hover about ten feet over you, which she maybe shouldn’t be doing in that cute little sundress, but you’re not gonna complain. No, sir. “I mean, isn’t this where it belongs? Out here in Greece? If they’re Greek sculptures and stuff …”

 

“It’s sort of complicated.” Aradia replies thoughtfully. “I mean, yes, absolutely, but they’re also more likely to be well-preserved for future generations where they are. I wouldn’t really support taking anything _else_ out though.” Fairy wings sprout from her back as she floats up to join Jade and well, you decide that you might as well get airborne too, because apparently it’s a fly party. Only flying people allowed. Thankfully, you’ve got a VIP there, even if you don’t have fairy wings.

 

“Sup, girls?” You play it nonchalantly, as if you were not actually boiling in your own skin like a potato under a ruthlessly hot Greek sun. You distract yourself from your slow-roasting by admiring the ladies. Aradia sure looks good in short shorts, and you’ve already made your appreciation of Jade in cute sundresses clear to anyone who is privy to your thoughts. Which you actually hope is nobody, because you didn’t sign up to be the narrator to some weird story someone is writing about you on vacation in Greece.

 

Because if they were signed up for that, they were probably there for the sexy times too. And people don’t need to read about how you got high, watched porn together and started this whole crazy, beautiful thing you’ve got going here. That sure was pretty awesome, though. But you don’t dwell on that for too long, because you probably don’t need to have your dick sticking out at a 45 degree angle while hovering above a large gaggle of tourists.

 

They’d just probably feel hella jealous of the girls and jealous crowds can be dangerous.

 

“History! Adventure!” Aradia grins broadly and flits over so she’s next to you and Jade. “Do you guys need a bit of a break, though? I know it’s pretty warm and sunny out here.”

 

“Maybe we could have a bit of a nap in the hotel and then head out for the beach!” Jade grins excitedly. “There’s really good beaches on some of the Cyclades and we’re not even that far away. Nice and secluded ones too.” Jade waggles her eyebrows slightly, because she is contractually obligated not to be subtle at all about her innuendo. You kind of love it, though. Just like you love Aradia’s inexplicable love of terrible puns and dad-worthy jokes.

 

“And tomorrow, we could flit over to Istanbul! Or Florence!” Aradia’s wings beat enthusiastically. It’s true, though, with Jade’s crazy space powers, you are under no obligation to follow a logical geographical progression. You could decide to go to Antarctica tomorrow. Or if you could get a spacesuit somehow, to freaking Mars. You don’t know how far Jade’s space powers can take her, but you also know she’s never seriously tested them with any trip on Earth. You also watched an Earthrise together once on the Moon.

 

You don’t consider yourself much of a romantic, but that was beautiful in ways that you can’t express in words. Just, seeing the whole planet, there. The world that you thought you’d destroyed when you started playing Sburb. Just there, all whole and beautiful in its blues and greens. What you’re trying to say is that seeing the Earth rise from the Moon gave you some hella perspective on what was really important. Pulled your head out of your ass a little bit.

 

After all, it’s not just the world that’s just there. It’s the world _you created._ The world you have a responsibility to try and protect.

 

“Sounds awesome to me.” You finally say. “But right now, girls, I think we all got a hot date with some air conditioning, something cold to drink and a bed with a hella thread count.” You wrap your arms around both their waists. You’re happy to be in any place in your weird little perpetual threesome, but it sure is nice to be the filling in a hella babe sandwich.

 

Jade rests her head on your chest. “I’m actually pretty sleepy. We did get up pretty early to go exploring …”

 

Aradia grins and kisses you on the cheek before flitting away. “Then c’mon sleepyheads, let’s get back!”

 

“Race you there” Jade disengages from you and flies after Aradia, leaving you with a rear view.

 

The absence of complaining from you is _deafening._


End file.
